Happy (Belated) Birthday, Minerva_Fan!

Dear minerva_fan,You made a noble request for some womanslash at hp_slashfantasy for your birthday, which was yesterday, and it's taken me a bit longer to finish this than I expected. Still, I hope you like. I love a good assignment - keeps the juices flowing.Enjoy!Title: Hold You InsideRating: R for choice adjectivesCharacters: Minerva McGonagall/Dorcas Meadows, references to Snape and Dumbledore.Notes: Takes place post OotP. I always wondered what the story from the first war was, if you piece together the hints from HP. If you don't remember who Dorcas Meadows is, check HERE. Thanks to my gf, best beta ever.Hold You InsideThe setting sun cast misleadingly warm bronze rays across the room as Minerva McGonagall sat in her chambers. She unfastened the top button of her robes, which came up well past the crook of her neck in proper modest fashion, and took the pins out of her sharply tidy updo. The hair fell upon her shoulders slowly, as though it were stiff from years of curling itself into a protective bun on Minerva’s head, and then untwisted in a long display of salt and pepper on her shoulders.With experienced fingers she separated the locks and ran a brush through them. It was her ritual – things tended to in order before retiring to bed – but it did little to distract Minerva from the thoughts at play in her mind that night. Voldemort had returned to power, and it would take all the support they could find to defeat him this time, her senses told her. It was going to be arduous. It had already been heartbreaking, those years ago. Witches and wizards were lost, people you tended to care about. Privately, Minerva was no less resolute in her courage to do whatever it took. But once the strategic planning meetings were adjourned, and members of the Order returned to their homes or wings of the castle, Minerva was alone. She gathered her long hair in her hand and closed her eyes, letting her thoughts drift to the past. Once, she had not been alone. Once, there had been someone by her side and in her heart, while outside the battle was raging on.Once upon a time, Minerva had discovered the truest thing she had ever felt.Though well past her school years, Dorcas Meadows was nearly twenty years her junior when Minerva knew her, in the years that marked the dawning of the first war against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It was a time when peace among wizards was waning, and Minerva kept a safe distance from matters of the heart. It wasn’t spoken of just then, but everyone felt it – you weren’t sure who you could trust, or who you would have to turn your back on one day.“You’re Head of Gryffindor House, I heard,” called a familiar voice from behind her. Minerva turned on her heel toward the woman speaking to her. Her stern face relaxed and smiled imperceptibly at Dor, as Minerva addressed her on friendly terms. She was a bright woman who had been a member of the newly formed Order of the Phoenix for several months now. “Congratulations,” she grinned, and handed Minerva a mug of hot liquid, presumably tea. “I was a Slytherin myself, many years ago. You see, some of us channel our ambition for good causes.” Minerva could not agree more wholeheartedly. In her public life, Dorcas was an academic – a damned good one – who had quietly ascended the ranks of her staunch, gray haired mentors, experts who had written volumes of books on wizardry. She knew almost too much about theories on magical blood-lines and the patterns of those powers appearing within Muggle populations.Later, people wondered if this was perhaps the reason she had been slain personally by Lord Voldemort.Only Minerva knew the real story. The Order thought that Snape had been their secret weapon, spy for the side of good. Minerva knew that Dorcas was their real strength, because had been the only one capable of convincing Severus and the others that they were on the same side – and keeping them convinced.Accepting the earthenware mug, Minerva cupped it in her hands as though the warmth was a gift to her from this woman.It had been a cold night, even for September, and an intense meeting of the Order had left her drained. She lowered her eyes and gazed reflectively into the steam as she spoke. “Yes, Dor. I’m afraid it’s true,” said Minerva, taking a seat on a nearby bench. “I am officially a senior member of the faculty at Hogwarts.” She put a barely perceptible emphasis on senior. Minerva let half her mouth lift in a smile and met the other woman’s eyes. They were deep-set and of a complex hazel, yet still the most calming eyes Minerva had ever gazed into, she thought to herself. She sipped the warm drink Dor had given her and was taken aback by a flavour she hadn’t been expecting – chocolate.“Cocoa,” Minerva confirmed aloud, not meaning to sound as puzzled as she had. Dor let out a soft laugh. “Minerva, you sound so surprised,” she said, her hazel eyes suddenly flickering with amusement. “I find that cocoa is best for odd seasons like this. Keeps the warmth inside you.”That night was the second time Minerva had taken particular notice of Dor – of her laugh and her ways. “If it wasn’t for you, some of the Order might have driven that young man away by now,” said Minerva, pulling her tartan shawl around her shoulders tighter. The night air was chilly. She shook her head slightly. “And even now…Dor, it was kind of you to take him under your wing. I sense he will respond well to someone he respects.”“Severus is willing to help the Order achieve our goals,” Dor said, stringing logic together. “He was a pupil of yours, wasn’t he?”Minerva raised a brow at Dor and sipped her cocoa. “I trust Albus absolutely, end of statement, however much danger we might find ourselves in from this decision.”Dor gently coiled herself at Minerva’s side on the stone bench. The moonlight made her dark eyes look fathomless. She was, as Minerva would later poignantly recall, svelte, graceful like a fawn, and soft-spoken. Yet when it came to expressing her views on subjects – such as the Ministry’s medieval approach to the Dark wizard and witch-hunt – Dor’s words flowed passionately, like fire. It was this quality that stirred the embers in Minerva McGonagall, and ignited within her like a searing white flame.“Can’t you see, Minerva?” said Dor, only inches away from her face in the darkness. “The Order has the upper hand now. That Severus knows the ways of the Death Eaters is our strength now. We will come out of this alive.”Never had Minerva met a witch with such tremendous intellect and an uncanny power to get to the heart of the matter as Dor. Oftentimes after the secret meetings of the Order had concluded for the evening, and sometimes well into the dark morning, Minerva and Dor would still be engrossed in spirited conversations. Later, other things than their talks on politics and philosophy and magic would take them early into the morning. The first time they’d kissed was that night Dor had offered Minerva cocoa, right there in the darkness of the back porch at the home of the Longbottoms. Dor had made love to her a few nights later, after they’d spent half the evening debating the sociological effects House separations had on students. She had only halfway seen it coming, since Dor had a way of slithering in to your most vulnerable place and holding it out for you to see – Look, this is what you are – before you realized she was that powerful. Their lovemaking lasted half the night, and by morning the two women were spent and groggy and high on this one good, sacred thing they had that dark magic couldn’t take away.Minerva had loved this woman, more than she’d ever been able to tell Dor before she was murdered.She removed the wire-rimmed glasses from her eyes. In her reflection they appeared much-aged since those days with Dor. Had it been that long? No, only a fraction of a lifetime, thought Minerva. Back then Dor had been the keeper of Minerva’s fire. Even in her death, her words still kept Minerva moving forward – not toward what was good and right, but what made sense.We will come out of this alive. They had, because Minerva always held her close, inside.Cross-posted to hp_slashfantasy and hp_girlslash.