At long last, my GoF review!

I braved an ocean of 2,000 target demographicans and went to the midnight screening of Goblet of Fire last night. Whoa. The film was totally worth it...mostly. Spoilers, anyone?! *offers them at your OWN RISK*My reaction in one word: SQUEE. But there's so much more to it. I hope I can explain, having only slept 3 hours last night, so I'll give it a shot. I'm so beyond deliriously tired. Bear with me, but know that I loved it for what it was: entertaining as freaking hell.Neville! *guh* He wins at the whole movie. It should have been called Neville Longbottom and the Tournament Thingy. Not only did he become a shy, sensitive and buck-toothed hunka overnight, but his character finally got the screentime he deserves! How long have we in fandom loved Neville, and mourned over his oft un-glamourized rarepairings in fic? No longer, I predict. This film will do exactly for Neville what the CoS did for Lucius: turn him into a rising star of fangirl love.Slashy subtext! I can't go any further without saying that Mikey totally PWNS Alfonso in the "oopsie, did I insert a rather overt slashy subtext here?" category. Forget Draco's kissy origami love notes in PoA, was anyone watching the interactions between Ron and Harry in the first 20 minutes? How about Ron and everyone? How about EVERY MALE CHARACTER and each other? Wow. Maybe my mind is corrupted big time by my fanlove for slash, but I don't give myself that much credit. I have only one scene to point out to seal this deal: Snape accusing Harry of stealing from his potions storeroom. Snape used an actual pick-up line on Harry, just after Karkaroff exited scene. Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. ;)Softy Snape! Hey, I'm just glad the ambiguously dark Snape, played by an aging but still rockin Alan Rickman, got some screentime. Still, he seemed less sneerful and more helpful in this film than the others. Probably not that important this film around, but he didn't seem like Harry's "enemy" in this one. Plus, the film did not call nearly enough attention to Harry discovering Snape had been a Death Eater. Harry didn't even blink an eye. "Snape? Death Eater? Mehh...It's all good. Ooh, Cedric's arse is looking fine today!"Tri Tournament Thingy! I was geniunely freaked out scared-off-my-arse for Harry during the first task with the dragon. Very good stuff. The underwater task was cool, but Harry used some random spell to save himself from drowning, and the whole thing was unsatisfying. The maze task was much like the tasks that the Trio had to go though in SS/PS (book) - pretty neat and interesting in the book, but fubared in the film. S'okay - the creepy maneating hedges were cool enough. But I really wanted the champions to be challenged, and far as I could tell it was just a game of "hey, don't get lost."Bunnies do GoF in 30 seconds or less! I'm referring to the bunny films website...y'know, that one. My major beef with the film is that this is exactly what GoF felt like. Squeeze it all in, forget about tying up loose ends. I know the book was way too long to get into 2 hours, BUT they coulda spared 10 minutes of edited material to bring closure to some scenes. Each major point just seemed to happen, then rushed onto the next one. Cut out ginormous and seemingly important chunks of the bookplot if you will, fine! But the parts you leave in, please give me transitions. Pleeease? Example: "Oh noes! Mad-Eye Moody is really Barty Crouch, Jr. on PJ Potion! Snape, point your wand to his head threateningly. THE END. CUT TO DUMBLEDORE'S LEAVING FEAST SCENE."Puberty is thy friend, trio! Possibly a sometimes-mean friend, but still: Could the 2,000 fans in the theatre have yelled any louder when Harry or Ron were stirring in their sleep? As if we, collectively as a fandom, weren't pervy enough - puberty had to come along and justify our love. Well, except for little Ginny Weasley who seemed to have aged, but not yet reached menarch. Here is my one totally superficial bitch - Harry's hair was not at all attractive. He looked like the hairstylist for the BeeGees attacked him with a can of hairspray. Ron's hair will be a "ack, I can't believe that was in fashion" statement 10 years from now - though the 20-yo guy in front of me in line had the exact same hair. He could have been Ron. Hermione and Vicki? The cutest and most satisfying budding-puberty element to this film in my opinion. Cho Chang might as well have been omitted entirely from the plot (but I am biased). See Neville comments above (grrowwl, wink wink). Harry was clearly in love with Cedric. Clearly. OMG I nearly died in the scene where Cedric tells him to go to the Prefects' bathroom with his egg. ::ded:: Later, when Moaning Myrtle (nearly) committed acts with Harry in the bathtub that only the kinkiest fanfics have dared to explore? My side split open, seriously.Draco who? Was Draco even in this film? The most I saw of him was exactly the footage we saw in trailers and film clips online. I ♥ Draco/Harry interaction with a passion, in the books. In the films...well, maybe Tom needs a year off to work on shrinking his forehead, do a little flyfishing. Sorry. I'm so bad!!!Superb acting! I'll save my comments about one Mr. Fiennes for last, but there were some other stellar performances in my opinion. Emma Watson easily out-acted the others, Rupert coming in second. She was a tad uppity at times (is Mikey to blame? hmmm) but each second she was on screen I was glued to Hermione. No, it's not just my fantasy...lol! The scene where Moody Crucios the spider and Neville wigs out while Hermione stands up for him was great. The actor playing Neville did okay there, but Emma acted up a storm. Nice job!And finally...The Ultimate Lord Voldemort! Hands down, Ralph Fiennes played THE BEST Voldemort I could have asked for. OMG, the man has acting skills. *has a moment of OMGness* I didn't even know what I wanted out of my film-version Voldemort until Ralph came along and told me what's what, baby. The make-up was right on. He was collected and commanding and powerful and weak and utterly evil all at the same time. Excellent choice, casting peeps! Sign that man on for the next 3 movies, STAT, or I will come to your house and Crucio your puppies! Plus, Death Eaters looking like the KKK at a satanic funeral: complete brilliance.That's it! That's my deliriously sleepy review of GoF. If you're reading this and haven't seen the film yet, just go see it! I absolutely loved it. ♥